office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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