We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
