4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
