Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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