i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just high enough for therapy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
