How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
