She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
