I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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