He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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