on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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