Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
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I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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