Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
