These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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