I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
