You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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