Plan B is the new Plan A
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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