Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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