If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
