He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize