some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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