I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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