Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
