the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
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At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize