Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
