And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
