So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
