I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
