No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
