i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
