i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
