I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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