halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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