it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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