MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
soo... how was my night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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