Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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