that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
