Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
