are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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