I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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