Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize