My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
