forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize