I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
