yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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