i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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