Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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