I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
