you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
