All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize