He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
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And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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