yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize