We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
