call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
