Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
