Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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