I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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