dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
