Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
